“Everybody has a past but at the same time everybody has a future. So while what you hear about what you do in your past affects your future, don’t let it hit you too hard, because the future is always changing. And who knows, maybe that person you were in the 6th grade could turn into the best person, the best friend you’ll ever meet…yourself…” -Alexander Gouldmann
Latest Entries »
I don’t know where im goin, what am i doin, my head is spinin’ in circles and i’m spinnin’ out of control. I don’t know what’s up, I don’t know whats down, all i know is what’s goin round. I’ts like a disease, it’s eating up in me, taking me piece by piece until there’s none left. I can’t help but let it go, just to let you know, that I must go. I can’t help but think what was goin on, that I hope I haven’t led you on. I feel bad to the start and this comes form the heart. I don’t know what happened last night but I just feel like it’s not right. It’s not you, it’s just me and they it’ll be until i’m free. Free of the grasp of ones i’ve loved, free of the grasp of those things undone, free of the grasp of unruly youth, free of the grasp of the ugly truth. It’s just not right the way i feel and I wish you not to take the steal. I wish you not to steal that feel, that feel I feel thats so unreal. You could get hurt you could feel pain, all i know is i don’t want to leave you in the rain. That relentless rain that comes from a torn heart, that relentless rain that sucks from the start.
I miss it.
The simple touch.
The caressing smoothness of your skin.
The look of an angel.
The feeling of worth.
The feeling of belonging.
The feeling of love.
Distrought,
Baren,
Filled with the whole of nothing.
The feeling the feeling that words can’t describe.
I miss it.
It eats me up inside,
How I wish you were here.
How I wish I meant something.
How I wish there was love.
A passion that I miss so deeply.
A passion untainted by lust,
Untainted with the social desire for material things.
I miss it.
The way you made me feel.
The way you were around me with no care.
I wish you were here.
How we couldn’t be apart.
The way you smiled.
The way you laughed.
The way you made me feel.
I miss it.
I can’t take it anymore.
The feeling of emptyness.
I’m lost without you.
A hole forever deepening,
Darkening the light.
How I wish you were here.
I don’t know what to do.
I can’t go back.
I can barely go forward.
I can’t sleep without thinking of you.
The way you picked me up when I was down.
The way you kept me warm when it was cold.
The way you always knew what to say.
How I miss it being so.
How I wish you here.
I don’t know where you came from,
I don’t know who you are,
But when I saw you,
All I thought was what a star.
Up so high,
In the sky,
Like an angel,
I thought I’d died.
I couldn’t believe,
Just what I saw,
It’s funny jut how far,
I dropped my jaw.
A women so beautiful,
A women so true,
A women I saw,
Inside of you.
Not a girl obsessed with partying,
Not a girl obsessed with drinking,
Not a girl obsessed with herself,
All I thought was I must be dying.
But there you were,
And there I was,
Alive as could be,
It felt like a buzz.
Not a buzz from drinking,
Not a buzz from smoking,
Not a buzz from drugs,
A buzz from life that makes you come alive.
And alive I was,
For the first time in ages,
My heart racing,
My body heating,
My mind racing with no voce.
Not a word could be said,
Was what I dread,
It wasn’t great,
But it’s not something I hate.
You caught me so off gaurd,
Just to stay with you,
I tried so hard,
And then my heart flew.
You sent me away,
Like an angel you were,
Taking me s high,
So highup in the sky.
Above the clouds,
My heart rose,
And so it goes,
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Spending time with you,
Brought out a love so true.
A love so pure,
A love so true,
A love with the only cure,
The cure of being with you.
To sit and await the glorious redemption.
To get there all you need is love and affection.
We’re goin’ on,
We’re headin’ ’til the dawn.
We’re movin’ to the new,
Your hopin’ that we grew.
But for all we do,
We’re doin it for you.
It’s not always easy,
It’s not always hard,
But if you do it right,
You’ll go far.
All you got to do,
Is just be true.
Just speak from the heart,
And don’t you go ‘n’ start,
To think about the ways,
That you can go astray.
For if you run his way,
Then you will portray,
The way that you’ll hate,
Every night and day.
The gentle breeze calm and free.
The blooming colors of spring.
The lush green grass.
The birds singing their beautiful songs in the distance.
The warm touch of the sun,
Over a field of dreams.
A place where anything can happen.
I’ve known you for only a little time,
But it feels like forever.
I met you one day,
And never turned away.
You grew on me in every way.
Your smile so bright,
Your touch so warm,
Your laughter so soothing.
Your beauty forever glowing.
I am yours.
I can’t pull away.
Your hold is just to strong.
I think I’m in love.
It feels wierd.
When I’m around you I can’t speak.
I can’t breath.
I feel so alive when you’re near,
I feel so empty when you’re not here.
You bring meaning to what I do.
I can’t live without you.
Life is new,
Life is old,
Life is grand and bold.
we give it,
We cherish it,
We take it.
Is it right to take?
Is it right to give?
Is it even ours to manage?
Do we control it?
Do we really live?
What is life?
Set sail.
Hoist the anchor.
Drop all sails and stand fast.
Let them fill with the refreshing breeze.
Set sail in to a world of unknown.
Feel free,
Feel wild,
Feel open to the new.
A whole world awaits.
Amongst the sand and the water above it.
Full of intriguing vessels.
Some small in size but all huge in fascination.
Find that spot of complete and total bliss.
Weigh anchor.
Draw the sails.
Stand fast at the highest point of the tallest mast.
Feel the breeze blow through your hair,
Feel the warmth of the sun shining on your face,
Feel the overwhelming peace of the open water.
If only you could see the way I feel about you.
The way you laugh,
The way move,
The way you make me feel the way I do.
I can hardly breathe when you look at me.
It hurts so much I just want to scream.
I don’t know who you think you are.
But I know you come from above the stars.
Every day, and every night I think about you all the time
The way you laugh,
The way move,
The way you make me feel the way I do.
I try so hard just to stick around.
And all I get is kicked down.
If only you knew.
The way I feel about you.
The way your smile makes me feel
When I am down and need to heal.
You’re always there throughout the times
The good, the bad, and the lonely nights.
If only you knew the truth,
The truth about me and you.
We joke, we laugh, and we turn away,
From what all of the others say,
They say we should be more than friends,
But we just laugh and give a grin.
A simple smirk just to me you give,
Like you know just how I want to live.
I want to live right next you,
If only you knew that this is true.
The way you laugh,
The way you move,
The way you make me feel the way I do.
It’s crazy.
Now jump up, jump up to the highger life.
You live a lie.
Just take your time, but you get out of line.
I’ll make you come alive.
Just go on and live your life.
It’s an interesting journey.
You never know where it’s taking you,
But whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
They say you don’t deserve a break,
But you fall and watch your future fade away.
It’s like moving mountains.
You never believe me when I say I love you.
No matter what it takes, I’m going to pull it together.
I don’t care what they think and neither should you.
Are you ready for this?
So now we’re falling in love and this feeling is tearing us up.
Let it not be that my heart be filled with black.
My eyes blinded by the hatred.
My feelings now lead by the deciet and the darker soul inside.
There’s a vast beauty that I can see no more.
Life has died inside of me,
Like I’ve been pierced by the sharpest of blades,
Yet, I feel no outward pain.
My actions done through the power within.
That power of which I’ve tried so hard to keep in.
Together we rise,
Together we’re a union.
Together, we are one.
When singled out we are alone.
We feel weak and are easily currupted.
But together, we can conquer all.
There’s a war going on.
There’s a war going on in your mind.
It’s all around you.
All you know is you can’t look back.
There’s a war going on.
There’s a war going on in your body.
It’s ripping and tearing you apart.
You don’t know what to do.
All you know is you can’t go back.
There’s a war going on.
There’s a war going on for your soul.
It’s pulling you and pulling you and spinning out of control.
You don’t know what to do.
All you know is you can’t break free.
The world is rough.
We come in to this world and we’re immediately cared for.
We get smirks and smiles for how cute we are.
And get tweenty chances to do something correctly like throw a ball.
When we grow older and we’re still throwing that ball out the window,
One day that window is going to be closed,
And there goes the brand new window mom and dad just bought.
Now we’re told, after we get yelled at, that it’s okay and not to cry.
Well of course we’re gunna cry you big dumby,
You just opened the finest can of canned whoop-ass on me.
Then after we’re told it’s ok we do it again.
Uh-oh, now we’re really in trouble.
Now we get pissed on because we did it again,
After we were told that it’s wrong.
Well do you really think we remember getting yelled at,
Or comforted?
So when we tell you that you said it was ok,
You tell us not to listen to everything you say.
Now we’re at the age where it’s not cool to talk to your parents,
Or hang around them,
So you don’t listen to them.
Now after a while of not listening to your parents,
They start to get angry.
Then you get in an argument with them about how you’re not listening,
And they told you not to listen to everything they siad.
Well, now, after a couple of years with this going on,
You start to pull away from your parents.
After a couple of weeks of this arguing more and you’ve had it.
So you decide to leave and never come back.
Then the parents freak and finally find out how you felt about them.
Now the truth come out.
We all have a race.
We’re all catagorized and put into class.
Black, white, Puerto Rican, or Asian.
We all live based upon a lie.
A lie that syas we’re better than the other.
A lie that we’re told make us seem supirior to the other.
We’re told that without the other race life would be better.
So we do the unacceptable to prove that lie.
We kill, murder, demolish other people in the name of territory.
We put up pictures, blackmailing others hopefully to run them out.
We do all of this and more in the name of some abstract sense we call boundries.
We are brought up with that lie.
We are fed that lie.
We are responsible for that lie.
But how can we fix something we have no power to overthrow.
Easy as it sounds, it’s easy to achieve.
Just look inside and you will find.
That there is pride where nothing dies.
You thought you were down,
You thought it won’t last,
You thought there was nothing left.
You’ll find that it’s there.
You’ll see that it’s you.
You’ll go and say that this is true.
You’ll find out, this thing called race,
Is just a name to “set you straight.”
To set you straight.
To keep you close.
To put you in these things called gangs.
You will go, and be apart,
Of the great wawr, that we did start.
You’ll find that this is all so true.
If thy only looked inside for you.
Love, an emotion on which we human beings use a lot.
But do we?
What would be a world without war, or hatred or cruelty?
What would happen then?
Would we always be happy?
Think about it.
How would we get along?
Would we be YELLING?
Would we be SHOUTING?
NO!
We would be talking, like humans, like we should be.
Love isn’t a burden or a test.
It is what cheers someone up when they are down.
It is what brings people closer to one another.
It is what makes us live the life we should have.
To sum it all up, LOVE is LIFE.
The subtle feelings of Spring.
The gentle breeze, calm and free.
The green lush grass,
The birds chirping in the air.
But this life is just a privilege.
And like all privileges, it can be taken away.
With all the people in the world,
And with all the people still to come,
We’re losing precious life to house them.
We keeping looking for new places to put the overgrowing population,
But we don’t find places to put the wildlife we destroy.
Pretty soon all that will be left is a garbage dump.
An area once beautiful and full of life,
Now ravaged by the destruction of the humane.
I look at my works in despair.
My thoughts are in my own,
My actions are of my own.
Some words were said that should not.
I’m not happy with what I’ve done,
But what’s in the past is in the past,
And there’s no going back.
There’s no explaining what went wrong.
There’s no pondering thoughts,
No countless incantations to fix,
No facing fear.
There’s only the quarrel with myself,
To fix myself, and what I’ve done,
And what I’ve failed to do.
Woke up this morning to not an hours sleep.
A walk down the hall to a door in the face.
Partially waken, not in the way of choice.
Woh! A cold shower doesn’t help the day.
Get dressed, look at the clock.
Crap, going to be late.
Rush down the stairs, throw on a pair of shows.
Throw the bags in the trunk.
Race off to school.
Tie on in the car, teeth brushed at school.
Five hard studied tests, pass one.
Not a day of great fun.
Ohhh, what a bad day.
AMG Blog 